Labor is so...awesome. I bet you thought I was going to say something horrible, huh? Well everyone knows it hurts. But man...you can't compare those first few minutes after birth to anything in existence. You also can't compare the pain, but it's so worth it in the end.
When we came home from the hospital my first fear was how the dogs would act. And I was right. They were lunatics. Baby was sweet but she kept pushing all of her 90 lbs. into the baby, forcefully. I know she meant well, but she's a brute. Max is only about 25 lbs but he is young and dumb, much like the average teenager. He doesn't know what the hell he wants or how he feels or what to do in any given situation. And most of the time, he's wrong. How's that for a perfect analogy?! Honestly, I sat on the couch and I thought he was going to eat Tanner. Stupid fur ball! I love him to pieces...but I really wanted to throw him through a wall. Here we are 5 weeks later and he still doesn't know how to act. I smell an adoption on the horizon, Maximus! Get your crap together! Really, he doesn't know if he should protect Tanner or complain that he isn't the baby any more (be jealous!). I just want him to relax....but he has little man syndrome. Not gonna happen.
The first week was good. We made a few stops so Mr. T could meet some of his family. That Saturday we went to Monsoon Lagoon. Gabe took a friend there to celebrate his 12th birthday. That night we went to the drive in and the following day we went to Maumee Bay. The next few weeks were no different, busy, lots of visiting and lots of baby smoochin'. We made a trip to the art museum, a couple birthday parties and had quite a few visitors at our house. We made the rounds at my office and the court houses to show off as well. Everyone just fell in love with him, as I knew they would. The first thing everyone mentions is his super blonde hair and how long he is. "He looks like a toddler!" lol
I met with our nanny, Teresa a few times. She's very nice. I like her a lot. She has 3 girls. Her middle child goes to school with Gabe. The oldest is in high school and the youngest is about 7 months old. Teresa is my age too. I'm a firm believer in 'what's meant to be will be' and 'everything happens for a reason.' It's funny what's put in our path sometimes. I'm really glad I found her. :-) Today was Tanner's second day with her and so far, so good! He's not eating as much as he has been but he's been gassy and snotty so I understand. Poor dude.
Tanner's first Dr. visit was pretty eventful, though not at first. Everything was pretty routine until Dr. Burlingame asked how the breast feeding was going. I told him Tanner fed better on one side than the other. Upon a physical inspection he said, "I'm 95% sure the reason he doesn't feed well on that side is because he's uncomfortable. I think he broke his collar bone." Barry and I were both white as a ghost and fighting tears as we stared at each other. He sent us right away for an xray and it was confirmed, broken. Great. I broke my baby. The bad ass, champion pusher used excessive force and broke her baby!!! Dr. Burlingame said it's common with big babies, like Tanner and that because his bones are soft, he'll heal fast. He reassured us that Tanner wasn't in pain, just uncomfortable in certain positions. Every time I looked at this precious little angel I teared up. The guilt was quite overwhelming. There was no treatment, just suggestions to keep his arm bent and tight to his side for a couple weeks. By the time we went to Tanner's one month appointment, it was pretty well healed. When we left the hospital after he was born, his weight dipped down to about 8 lbs., 4 oz. He was back to 8 lbs., 10 oz by one week old and 9 lbs., 11 oz. by 2 weeks old. This past Friday, at one month old....he was a whopping 11 lbs., 4 oz.! That's my little linebacker!! And ironically, my father in law pointed out something we hadn't noticed yet. Tanner's initials are TD Silver (Touch Down Silver!). Looks like we might just have a football player on our hands!
I decided to go back to work a week early. I've felt great since I had Tanner and he seems to be doing pretty good too. I didn't want to have to use any vacation days at work since I stopped working a week before I delivered. Tanner is doing great with Teresa and so far, I'm good at work. But I will say this...I honestly wish there was a way to replace my income from home. I love my job. I have a lot of pride in what I do and how long I've been doing it. But more than anything in this world...I wish I could be home with the boys. It was so great being with Gabe and Tanner all day before Gabe headed back to school. Barry said he's always believed that if possible, both parents should work. He never thought he'd want a stay at home wife. But after coming home every day to me and the boys, he wished it was possible. A couple days ago he was talking to our neighbor who sells insurance and does medical billing from home. She's a great neighbor and a really sweet person. She wants to talk to me to see if it's something I'd be interested in. Although I wish I could do some legal typing from home, I'm not opposed to the medical billing thing. I can type over 100 words per minute so that seems to be a great line of work for me. I don't know about the insurance sales. I'm not a sales person. I don't like pressuring people. And I don't have a good poker face. I get nervous and I feel like people might have a hard time trusting what I say about their 'insurance' needs. I know how I am when someone tries to sell me something I don't think I can afford! Oh, come on 'angel of prosperity'....show me the light!!!
Tanner was finally able to meet his sister, Autumn! She came to visit 2 weekends in a row!! Hopefully in the near future, she'll move to Toledo so we can all see more of her!! Caleb is still in basic training...which I'm not entirely handling all too well. I miss my boy. I worry about him. I know he made a good decision and he'll only benefit from it. He graduates in a couple weeks and we're going down to Georgia to see him. Barry can't get off work but my step mom, Jody is going with Tanner and I. I hate having to take more time off work so soon... but he only graduates from basic training once. And he's counting on mom to be there. Who am I to disappoint?
Aside from burping and farting constantly, Tanner hasn't gotten his days and nights straightened out quite yet. We're trying but man, it's tough!! Most mornings I feel like I never did fall asleep and rarely get a chance to nap with him. Now that I'm back to work I can kiss that possibility goodbye! Some days, when I'm really tired and frustrated I just cry. And sometimes, Tanner cries right along with me. But it's okay because once I let it out, I feel better and I know he does too. :-) Now that we're cruising right along with these new routines, getting Tanner's schedule on track should be right around the corner. Until then, 3am and 5am feedings are like precious gems... He sticks out his bottom lip and clings to me while I rock him and tell him stories about mean old boogers (he's been pretty boogery the last few days) and lost loved ones. Barry tries to sing to him but he can never remember all the lyrics. It's bittersweet ....he makes it up as he goes and Tanner falls in love every time, staring at him and smiling. I hate to see him sad or uncomfortable but I'm in no hurry. I'm going to enjoy every second of him being brand new and perfect as long as I can. After everything we went through, everything I went through to get him here...the dream is finally a reality.
Here's to the next 18 years....good grief...Autumn will be 38, Caleb will be 37, and Gabe will be 30 when Tanner turns 18. What was I thinking??????? It's a good thing I don't look or act my age. Bwa ha ha ha ha...
 |
No comments:
Post a Comment