6 weeks and 4 days, I think.
My first OB appointment is Monday,
March 5th and I’m so excited I could pee! In fact, I could pee every 10 minutes.
Really. I honestly wish I knew how
something the size of a blueberry could be making me feel like I have to go every
moment of my day. Actually, I already
know. It’s just amazing to me, much like
every other aspect of pregnancy. I guess
since it’s been 11 years, I’ve forgotten a lot of it.
Here I am, 6 weeks in and already feeling like a
buffalo. How is that even possible? According to my scale, I lost 4 lbs. Another amazing aspect, eh? Physically, I’m
feeling a little better this week. The
headaches have subsided. I also got the bright idea that I could still have
coffee…decaffeinated. Oh yeah. It’s not even close to the same. But I like to think I’m tricking myself. I still feel nauseated at times. It sort of comes in waves. It could be my
prenatal vitamins too. Whatever it is, I’ll
take it.
Last weekend we did a lot of relaxing, watching movies and
just chillin’ at home. Saturday night
Barry and I were watching something and we had about 30 minutes to go when Gabe
finished his last movie. Bored to death
he kept coming out into the living room and trying to get our attention. I didn’t mind the first few times and I even
tried to make suggestions for things he could do to occupy himself. The one thing he couldn’t do was watch the
movie we were watching. Bridesmaids is not
a great one for 10 year olds. He was getting more and more antsy and I just couldn’t
take it any more. I yelled, “if you can’t
find something to play with in that bedroom full of 10,000 toys then we’re just
going to have to give them all away!”.
It sounded really mean….like my next move was chopping the heads off his
GI Joes. 5 Seconds after he turned
around with his sad little face and walked into his room with his head down, I
lost it again! This time, I was sobbing uncontrollably! I felt terrible for
yelling at my little nugget like that! I
was trembling, shaking, having a hard time catching my breath because I was
crying so hard! I haven’t cried like
that in a very long time. And 5 minutes
from that point…I was laughing. You know, the laugh that is so out of control
you feel your face getting warm and you have to cross your legs extra tight!? What…the…hell??? Really, Mr. Hormone, you trickster! You Jerk!
You sick, twisted devil!! Yeah. I’m not
liking this part too much. I never know
if something is going to strike me a certain way and either the tears will
begin to flow….or I’ll be running to the bathroom! Well…walking really fast,
anyway. Running hurts the ladies. And that, is a whole new
episode. Good thing I haven’t spent that Victoria
I think I’ve been dealing with the physical symptoms pretty
well. I keep my mind preoccupied by
making lists. Yes, I’m a little
OCD. There is a lot to do between now
and October. So if I make lists I can
look at them when I’m completely out of my mind and know that at some point, I
had my crap together. I don’t know what we’re going to do about daycare. I’ll call around at some point. But I’m not sure if I want to put this baby
in a center or find someone who does it out of their home. There are fears either way I look at it. I’d love to just stay home after the baby…but
my lavish lifestyle won’t allow it. In
all seriousness…this part is the part that sucks the most. The idea that I’ll be paying out the wazoo
again for child care is not something I look forward to. On one hand, it’s astronomical. On the other, I understand that they have to
pay their employees and other bills just like I do. You can’t really put a price on the safety
and well being of your child. Speaking
of paying out the wazoo…I wonder if they’ll do an ultrasound Monday.
I am, after all high
risk. What, with my old age and all.
I’m over 35 and I’ve miscarried twice so they have to keep an extra eye
on me. That works for me. I read a lot
of pregnancy forums and blogs so I don’t feel so alone with all this anxiety I’m
carrying around. I’m a worry wart to the
100th degree. I won’t lie.
Every day I wake up hoping and praying that it’s a good day and that nothing
comes in the way of another joyous day of morning sickness, cramps, 47 trips to
the bathroom to pee, starvation pains, uncontrollable hormones and gas that
could seriously injure my loved ones.
Because that, my friends is a
clear sign that everything is A-ok. So
if I’m sitting next to you having an awesome conversation and suddenly let one
loose don’t mind my giggles. I’m not embarrassed
in the slightest. I’m just excited and
happy to be farting like an old fat lady.
Among the obvious, I have a few other things to discuss with
my new best friend at the OB office. Like whether I should trust that Chinese
Gender Chart, whether I should get a fetal Doppler for home and what kind of
exercises I can do. A girl needs to know
these things. I tried 5 of those charts
and they all say “girl”. Confucius is in
for some hurtin’ if I have a boy after all that! I think the fetal Doppler would
set me at ease because I could listen any time I wanted for the little ba-boom,
ba-boom of my little beans heart. Barry
feels differently. The first time we couldn’t find the heartbeat, he might just
have a coronary. Maybe the Doppler isn’t
such a good idea. And as for the
exercises, my butt is only getting bigger.
I never really lost all the weight after Gabe but this time it’s
different. I was doing so good with my
4-5 days a week routine….and I haven’t really done much of anything for 2 weeks
because I’m scared I’ll somehow cause another miscarriage. Maybe that’s irrational. But it’s real in my head and I can’t fight
that feeling right now. So….if I can’t
do it with Billy or Carmen….who can I do it with???
That’s all the exciting milestones for this week. I’ll have much more to say next week after my
appointment, I’m sure. Since when have I
not had more to say? Stay tuned!! Thanks for reading about my prenatal
endeavors!
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